It’s been awhile since I’ve poured my heart out. It’s been awhile since I’ve sat down and thought things through. It’s been awhile since I’ve been alone with my thoughts, surrounded with nothing but silence. I’ve been on the go, kept busy, kept my mind busy, kept my hands occupied, kept my thoughts focused. Because it’s easier to keep my feelings in check when I’m.. busy. But then I start to ignore the phase I find myself settling into again. That deep crevice in the portrait of my life that I try so hard to jump over so many times, but then find myself swallowed into it once in awhile. That dark crack in what seems to be a perfect, flat land that I sometimes have to claw myself out of. I never realize how deep I am in that crevice because my eyes are kept upward, paying attention to what’s happening above me. And then I finally get a moment to look down.. realizing that I am far too deep with paranoia settling in that if my foot slips, I will fall until I can no longer see above me.